I had a dream last night that I was at a party or club of some sort. Prior to the party starting, I had made it known to a person or two that I was possibly interested in doing ecstasy or MDMA. The party was well underway a bit later; it was dark, lots of flashing lights and loud music, people everywhere dancing and generally acting pretty wild and almost feral. I ended up deciding that I was only going to drink alcohol or maybe do a very small amount of ecstasy due to the overwhelming nature of the atmosphere. My flaming gay male best friend came up to me and said hi and we exchanged a hug and a smooch (I am a female for reference.) Then his friend, also an eccentric gay man, came up to me. But his greeting was different. He had some sort of device or contraption with him that he held over my right nostril and that forced powder down my nose. I struggled to get away and told him no and that I didn’t want any drugs. But he wouldn’t listen. A few moments later when he was done, I put my finger to my nose and white powder was on it. I yelled in anger to my gay friend and his friend about what had just happened but ultimately decided to just enjoy the ride, figuring he had only given me ecstasy since that’s typically the drug of choice with parties like that. I asked his friend what he had given me, and he ended up telling me it was a cocktail of several different types of drugs. At that point I freaked out and told him that I had never done the majority of those drugs before. I felt so scared in that moment and my anxiety was through the roof because I had no idea how I was going to react to these drugs, let alone a combination of them all and I also had no clue how much he had given me. The evening went on, I mostly enjoyed the environment I was in (which was kind of like an underground rave,) but felt high and also kind of out of it/out of my body while I attempted to mingle with different groups of people. The dream then shifted to me in the home I grew up in. I was carrying around a small table of some sort that had white powder on it, suggesting I was continuing taking drugs from the rave party I was just at. I walked to the bathroom in an attempt to hide the small table of drugs from anyone and proceeded to snort the powder while trying to cover up any sounds I was making. Then I needed to use the bathroom. When I lifted the toilet seat lid there was a teeny tiny purple spider that I tried to smoosh using wet toilet paper. Then the spider somehow kept getting closer and closer to my face and I freaked out and that’s when I woke up.
This dream seems to reflect feelings of peer pressure, anxiety, fear of the unknown, and a desire to fit in or belong in a social setting. The party setting with loud music, dancing, and flashing lights symbolizes a sense of chaos or overwhelm in your waking life. Your initial hesitance about taking ecstasy or MDMA may indicate inner conflict or uncertainty about indulging in risky behaviors.
The interaction with your gay friend and his eccentric friend could represent different aspects of yourself or different influences in your life. The friend forcing drugs on you despite your protests may symbolize feeling pressured or manipulated into situations you're uncomfortable with.
The fear and anxiety you experience upon learning about the cocktail of drugs forced upon you may reflect real-life anxieties about losing control or the consequences of impulsive decisions. The feeling of being out of your body while high at the party suggests a detachment from your true self or a disconnect from reality.
Returning to your childhood home and continuing to take drugs may signify a desire to escape or seek comfort in familiar surroundings, even if it involves risky behavior. The image of the tiny purple spider getting closer to your face could represent feelings of paranoia, vulnerability, or impending danger in your waking life.
Overall, this dream may be urging you to confront any inner conflicts, peer pressures, or risky behaviors in your waking life and to be mindful of influences that may lead you astray from your true desires or values. It could also be a reflection of unresolved fears or anxieties that need to be addressed for your well-being.